Hawaii Five-0 - Poniu I Ke Aloha - Review:"Crazy in Love"

In the latest episode of Hawaii Five-0, Valentine’s Day turns deadly for one poor schmuck trying to land a date.

The victim of the week starts awkwardly flirting with a woman in a club, makes out with her in the alley, and is murdered shortly thereafter. Chin, Kono, and Lou grab the case while Steve and Danny have a supremely awkward Valentine’s Day of their own.

Their girlfriends, Lynn and Melissa (who are shown so infrequently I always have to look up their names), thought it would be a good idea to all hang out on their day off.

Steve blames Danny for this. If Danny wasn’t so concerned with Melissa thinking he was an antisocial weirdo, this wouldn’t be happening. He’s willing to get over it to enjoy the day, but Danny starts stressing about everything. He even starts a fight with a kid and throws his Frisbee into the ocean. Steve has to talk him down from having an altercation over a $20 pair of sunglasses the kid steals in retaliation.

Danny cools off for a little, but not even a relaxing facial can deter him getting his sunglasses back. He ditches his date to do a little recon. Danny goes after this kid with more tenacity than he uses for the murder suspects he chases every day. He and Steve break into the kid’s hotel room and Danny quickly realizes that they weren’t his glasses. Steve apologizes to the kid and his family and tells them Danny will buy them dinner.

It was smart for Chin and Lou take bets on who will check out of the fancy hotel first. I wonder if anyone had money on Danny almost getting them all kicked out of the hotel.

While they’re giving their friends hell, Chin, Kono, and Lou are also investigating the death of the man found in the back alley. Turns out that Jeremy from Palo Alto was in town to attend a conference by a predatory pick-up artist, Blake Stone.

Chin and Kono aren’t too happy about having to work the case instead of spending time with their significant others, and their disgust deepens when they meet Blake and hear his opinions on women. Kono’s making faces the whole time he talks about treating women as targets. Chin schools him immediately, telling him that the woman Jeremy met in the club might not have been his target but his killer.

Lou learns from the bartender that it wasn’t his “winning personality” that impressed Jeremy’s date. Instead, it was the watch and cash he was flashing around. Lou looks up prostitution records in the area and identifies the elusive woman in red as an escort with a local service.

Lou knocks on the door of the madam, Cordelia. Cordelia is coy at first, but decides to help Lou solve the case quickly and get home to his wife. She tells him that the woman, Vanessa, was making more money with someone else. Predictably, that “someone else” happens to be Blake. He’s hiring escorts to make his students think his method, “The Method,” works. It was a guaranteed success and, as Blake is surprised to learn, actually several crimes. He’s arrested for solicitation and fraud.

Kono is impressed by Blake’s “whole other level of douchebaggery.” Blake tries to spin it as helping lonely men. Kono’s not buying it. She immediately picks up on Blake’s negging while they go find Vanessa. In this show, they always take the suspects along on car-rides. They never just ask them to draw them a map to their associate's location.

When Chin and Kono speak to Vanessa’s roommate, they learn that Vanessa had a client who was obsessed with her. The show switches to Vanessa and gives away what really happened. This client, Neil, thought that he was in an actual relationship with her and shot Jeremy in jealousy. He captured Vanessa and is still holding on to a fantasy that they’re going to run away together.

Vanessa’s a fighter. She lures Neil closer to her and stabs him in the leg with a piece of broken glass. She barricades herself in a bedroom and waits until Chin and Kono show up. She even has the presence of mind to warn them that Neil’s after Blake next.

Neil shows up at the next class Blake is teaching and Kono takes him down before he can hurt anyone else. Poor Blake is now basically besotted with Kono. She makes those weird faces again and lets him down not-so-gently. The case is wrapped up in enough time for everyone to have a good Valentine’s Day. Except Danny. He’s still out a $20 pair of sunglasses.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Let me know in the comments!